gillettehunter
AH ambassador
Here is a Bad Day story I read:
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst
job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so
I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not
so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies
at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this:
We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and
start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a
few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,
but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now,
since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of
my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the
dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic,
with tears of laughter, running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream
put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now
repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad
day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst
job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so
I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not
so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies
at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this:
We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and
start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a
few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,
but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now,
since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of
my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the
dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic,
with tears of laughter, running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream
put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now
repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad
day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
