on a lighter note...

[Boyd Brooks]

 

[Ridge Runner]

BUT....in Dallas it lets the other jerks know you are pulling in front of them, and they immediately block you by accelerating. Sad. We have to do stealth cutoffs.
For more urban driving tips, read Texas Monthly, "How to drive like a jerk in Dallas"

The author of: "How to drive like a jerk in Dallas" must have multiple prints for various cities in: North Carolina, Tennessee, D.C., etc. With chapters on: "How to drive with 1 foot on brake the other lightly on the accelerator", "Stop before making right hand turn while having the right of way", and "Deceleration on the entrance ramp to highway when no traffic in one mile sight".

 

[Field28]

 

[jpr9954]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]

 

[Nyati]

 

[steve white]

The author of: "How to drive like a jerk in Dallas" must have multiple prints for various cities in: North Carolina, Tennessee, D.C., etc. With chapters on: "How to drive with 1 foot on brake the other lightly on the accelerator", "Stop before making right hand turn while having the right of way", and "Deceleration on the entrance ramp to highway when no traffic in one mile sight".

Yeah, don't forget "drive down the open lane to the left when the right one has a long blocked line trying to turn or exit. Wait for an opening at the very last chance to pull over. The first person will be incensed--no way you're getting in. The second driver the same, maybe even the third, but....then the next will say to themselves--look at that poor guy no one will let in...I'll stop and let him pull in. NET CARS YOU ARE NOW AHEAD OF--27! Never mind you held up traffic.
Now, do the same except look for a big truck--they always have space in front of them, and most don't want some big lawyer plundering them for hitting a little car. Pull in. You only save 17 cars this way, but nobody is mad at you.
Honk only if you can get away with it. Don't honk when trying to get people to hurry up and turn while the left turn arrow is still green, because then they will slow down and make YOU miss the light. DO HONK at people who are blocking the intersection after the light turns red on them. Now you can't go until traffic moves again in their lane EVEN THOUGH YOU NOW HAVE A GREEN LIGHT! GRRRR. Just take note that they are also stuck so--If you don't have any identifying license plates and are in a truck that can go over the median and escape, THEN DO US ALL A FAVOR AND THROW A ROCK THRU THEIR WINDOW OR AT LEAST DAMAGE THEIR CAR AND RUN. They probably are the kind of jerk who doesn't have insurance and this will cost them sufficiently that they won't do it again. Gotta do our civic duty, after all, and I will personally applaud you for doing what I WISH I had the guts to do. Besides, any country worth living in should codify laws making it legal to throw rocks when justified. Good day.

 

[steve white]

Uh, that would be WOMEN...

Particularly any women that DID NOT sew their own hunting clothes, just sayin'

 

[Wheels]

 

[Lumaberpat]

 

[steve white]

Yeah, don't forget "drive down the open lane to the left when the right one has a long blocked line trying to turn or exit. Wait for an opening at the very last chance to pull over. The first person will be incensed--no way you're getting in. The second driver the same, maybe even the third, but....then the next will say to themselves--look at that poor guy no one will let in...I'll stop and let him pull in. NET CARS YOU ARE NOW AHEAD OF--27! Never mind you held up traffic.
Now, do the same except look for a big truck--they always have space in front of them, and most don't want some big lawyer plundering them for hitting a little car. Pull in. You only save 17 cars this way, but nobody is mad at you.
Honk only if you can get away with it. Don't honk when trying to get people to hurry up and turn while the left turn arrow is still green, because then they will slow down and make YOU miss the light. DO HONK at people who are blocking the intersection after the light turns red on them. Now you can't go until traffic moves again in their lane EVEN THOUGH YOU NOW HAVE A GREEN LIGHT! GRRRR. Just take note that they are also stuck so--If you don't have any identifying license plates and are in a truck that can go over the median and escape, THEN DO US ALL A FAVOR AND THROW A ROCK THRU THEIR WINDOW OR AT LEAST DAMAGE THEIR CAR AND RUN. They probably are the kind of jerk who doesn't have insurance and this will cost them sufficiently that they won't do it again. Gotta do our civic duty, after all, and I will personally applaud you for doing what I WISH I had the guts to do. Besides, any country worth living in should codify laws making it legal to throw rocks when justified. Good day.

Y'all do know this is all just humor, right?

Feel free to post your own traffic frustrations....

 

[K E Johnson]

Took me about 1.5 seconds to figure this out.
Real billboard in KC MO.

 

[JOHN GRENZ]

 

[Dav]

Any Ducht on here ?