European Colonialism is Back as ‘Animal Rights’ COUNTRY SQUIRE MAGAZINE
BY JOHN NASH This week, I have been remembering a silly school joke: One evening, a policeman came across a strange fellow who was walking down the street inPenzance, throwing, in all directions…
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This week, I have been remembering a silly school joke:
Apart from hailing from a time, long ago, before PC’s went PC, when British policemen were helpful, respectful and sane, I hope the joke sounds better in German. Our Teutonic neighbours are going to need the powder because last week, after the German government announced it would seek to ban the importation of hunting trophies, Botswana’s President Masisi threatened to send 20,000 elephants to Berlin so that Germans could learn what it is like to live with real ones. As they don’t say in Penzance, “Verdammter Scheiß!”One evening, a policeman came across a strange fellow who was walking down the street in
Penzance, throwing, in all directions, handfuls of white powder from a cloth bag.
“Allo, ‘allo” enquired plod, “And what are we doing, Sir?
“This here be elephant repellent, constable. Good stuff. It keeps elephants away”, slurred the man, flinging another handful, obviously either neurodivergent or substance-affected in modern parlance.
“Let’s not be a stupid fellow, Sir,” sniffed the policeman, reaching for his pencil and notebook,
“There are no elephants for thousands of miles from here”.
“There you are,” replied the man, “I told you it was blerry good stuff”.
People like Townies who don’t actually live with them often have a fascination with wild animals, especially charismatic megafauna they don’t encounter in their everyday lives. They are so easily led astray by animal rights (AR) souls, vegans and other jelly-heads with vegetables to grind. Foreigners and even urban Africans have been raised on elephant documentaries, nature programmes, and media coverage that highlights the lives and behaviour of wild elephants, showcasing their intelligence, social dynamics and family bonds. These portrayals humanise elephants and foster empathy and admiration for them. Our own Parliament’s demented AR souls are no different, recently leading the House astray with two hours of blatant porkies in the 2nd reading of the Hunting Trophies (Import Prohibition) Private Member’s drivel.
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