BigJohnx13
AH veteran
Mr and Mrs Smith are from the high class society. The Smiths didn’t have any children and all their efforts were fruitless. The couple, after a long consideration and the yearning for a child decided the invitro implanting chances were too slim and decided to get a real "surrogate father" to help start their little family. On the day the proxy father had come to visit, Mr Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said: "Well, I cannot sit at home and see another man doing my wife; I’m going out for a drink. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, and merely by chance, the doorbell rang. It was however, a door-to-door baby photographer-with the hope of selling a photography session to the residents.
"Good morning, ma'am," he said, "I came to ... ''
"Oh no, you do not need to explain," Mrs Smith said, deeply embarrassed and mumbled, "I’m expecting you."
"Really you do?" said the photographer, thinking that one of the neighbours had phone ahead. "Well, that's good. Then you know that babies are my specialty?"
"Well, that's what my husband and I had hoped for. Please come in and sit at ease." After a while Mrs Smith asked blushingly, looking at the very handsome man and ask "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me ma’am. I usually try a few sessions in the living room. This is where all the action usually happens, on the couch and on the carpet sometimes. If that doesn’t work I usually try in the bedroom, on the bed and also on the carpet. I had quite a couple of good shots there with some happy mothers. Sometimes I also try in the bathroom. When things really go difficult, I will try in the garden and sometimes even in a public park or sometimes even in a car. You can really spread everything out and try many different ways to do it.
"On the couch, the carpet, the bathroom, the garden and the car? No wonder it did not work for us!" Think Mrs Smith.
"Well, Ma’am, unfortunately I cannot guarantee that every shot is a good one and that is why we try just a few different positions and from six or seven angles, I am sure you will be satisfied with the results."
"My goodness, but it's a lot!" gasp Mrs Smith panting for her breath.
"Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I do not believe in in and out for two minutes, I'm sure you will not be disappointed."
"I do not know," replied Mrs Smith quietly.
The photographer draws his briefcase closer and pulled out a portfolio of photos of babies. The one more beautifully than the other one. Mrs Smith was really impressed with all the beautiful babies!
"This was done on the top floor of a bus," he said.
"My grace!" cried Mrs. Smith and grabbed her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - especially if you would know their mother. She was very difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs Smith.
"Yes, she was so afraid that I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done. People in the park where crowding around us to get a good look."
"Crowding around you?" said Mrs Smith, her eyes wide with wonder.
"Yes," said the photographer, "and for more than two hours, too. The mother was screaming and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when it started to get dark, I had to rush my shots. The worst was when the squirrels came out and started chewing on my equipment. I had to finish the job and packed up everything."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward and murmured dry mouth: "You mean they gnawed on your equipment?"
"It is true, madam, yes that's true." "Well, if you are satisfied and ready I will setup my tripod in the meantime so I can do the job."
"Tripod?" ask Mrs Smith with a big question?
"Oh yes ma'am. I need to rest my Canon on it. It is too big and long to hold in one hand for a long time."
Needless to say, Mrs. Smith fainted immediately.
Half an hour later, and merely by chance, the doorbell rang. It was however, a door-to-door baby photographer-with the hope of selling a photography session to the residents.
"Good morning, ma'am," he said, "I came to ... ''
"Oh no, you do not need to explain," Mrs Smith said, deeply embarrassed and mumbled, "I’m expecting you."
"Really you do?" said the photographer, thinking that one of the neighbours had phone ahead. "Well, that's good. Then you know that babies are my specialty?"
"Well, that's what my husband and I had hoped for. Please come in and sit at ease." After a while Mrs Smith asked blushingly, looking at the very handsome man and ask "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me ma’am. I usually try a few sessions in the living room. This is where all the action usually happens, on the couch and on the carpet sometimes. If that doesn’t work I usually try in the bedroom, on the bed and also on the carpet. I had quite a couple of good shots there with some happy mothers. Sometimes I also try in the bathroom. When things really go difficult, I will try in the garden and sometimes even in a public park or sometimes even in a car. You can really spread everything out and try many different ways to do it.
"On the couch, the carpet, the bathroom, the garden and the car? No wonder it did not work for us!" Think Mrs Smith.
"Well, Ma’am, unfortunately I cannot guarantee that every shot is a good one and that is why we try just a few different positions and from six or seven angles, I am sure you will be satisfied with the results."
"My goodness, but it's a lot!" gasp Mrs Smith panting for her breath.
"Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I do not believe in in and out for two minutes, I'm sure you will not be disappointed."
"I do not know," replied Mrs Smith quietly.
The photographer draws his briefcase closer and pulled out a portfolio of photos of babies. The one more beautifully than the other one. Mrs Smith was really impressed with all the beautiful babies!
"This was done on the top floor of a bus," he said.
"My grace!" cried Mrs. Smith and grabbed her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - especially if you would know their mother. She was very difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs Smith.
"Yes, she was so afraid that I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done. People in the park where crowding around us to get a good look."
"Crowding around you?" said Mrs Smith, her eyes wide with wonder.
"Yes," said the photographer, "and for more than two hours, too. The mother was screaming and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when it started to get dark, I had to rush my shots. The worst was when the squirrels came out and started chewing on my equipment. I had to finish the job and packed up everything."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward and murmured dry mouth: "You mean they gnawed on your equipment?"
"It is true, madam, yes that's true." "Well, if you are satisfied and ready I will setup my tripod in the meantime so I can do the job."
"Tripod?" ask Mrs Smith with a big question?
"Oh yes ma'am. I need to rest my Canon on it. It is too big and long to hold in one hand for a long time."
Needless to say, Mrs. Smith fainted immediately.
