SMART-ASS ANSWERS...

[DOC-404]

SMART-ASS ANSWER #5
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
"What are my choices?" the man asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART-ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen Chickens at a Woolworths store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant, "Do these Chickens get any bigger?"
The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead."

SMART-ASS ANSWER #3
The policeman got out of his car and the teenager he stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the Cop said.
The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART-ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read " Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he realized it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.
Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car arrived. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the truck's cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?"
The truck driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of fuel!"

SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
A teacher at a West Australian High School reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
Bluey, the class smart-ass, raised his hand at the back of the room and asked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
"Well, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand."

:biggrin2:

 

[Stan-Elephant Trail]

:laughing::laughing::laughing:

 

[Cliffy]

Did bluey miss the answer of the year?

 

[enysse]

Well done, :clap:!

 

[AkMike]

LOL, I'm pretty sure that even he would notice it..
Give him time to wander thru.

 

[bluey]

ive been working my ass off all night ,or should l say finger to the bone
lm so lucky to to have you as a friend doco .
be gentle princess ,im buggered, today

 

[spike.t]

ive been working my ass off all night
lm so lucky to to have you as a friend doco .be gentle princess :kissy: ,im buggered, today :shocked:

i wondered what they got up to on long boat trips.......now we know!!!:fear::heh::biggrin2:

 

[bluey]

since ive layed off the red bull this week ,the old think tank isn't functioning ,in its sleep deprived state at the moment , dearest friends
but one statement comes to mind
ka-ching ,ka-ching ka-ching
2 trips and im close to half way thru the contract .
might even get xmas off yet ... ha ha ha

 

[spike.t]

since ive layed off the red bull this week ,the old think tank isn't functioning ,in its sleep deprived state at the moment , dearest friends
but one statement comes to mind
ka-ching ,ka-ching ka-ching
2 trips and im close to half way thru the contract .
might even get xmas off yet ... ha ha ha

couldnt resist you left it wide open :laughing::laughing::beer: better hurry up and keep the tills ka-chinging...:beer::biggrin2::thumb: hope you make it in time for a christmas break

 

[arizona]

:clap:clap:

 

[bluey]

come the 18th this boat will tied up till boxing day , regardless spikey
im going deer culling and trout fishing
nothings changing that
old money bags ,and scrooge dc duck can go to sea if they want !!!!
as long as they remember the way out over the bar ,they will be right ,ha ha ha

 

[enysse]

Sounds like you need a helper, DOCMAN could get some sea legs :biggrin:

 

[bluey]

Sounds like you need a helper, DOCMAN could get some sea legs :biggrin:

too old and frail, enysee

 

[gi jane]

Damn, I'd pay to have the chance to do work like that. Can't go anywhere or do anything till the last kiddo is old enough to be on his own. Hope I'm still alive and kicking by then.

 

[Wheels]

come the 18th this boat will tied up till boxing day , regardless spikey
im going deer culling and trout fishing
nothings changing that
old money bags ,and scrooge dc duck can go to sea if they want !!!!
as long as they remember the way out over the bar ,they will be right ,ha ha ha

bluey, you need to move that boat to Walvis Bay. Then on your time off you could cull 20 different types of animals.

Doc might even buy you an occasional drink.......or stick you with the bill.

 

[Bobpuckett]

:rofl: picking on ole bluey and him having to work one handed!

 

[Cliffy]

Up we go and down we go, up we go and down we go, barf, barf barf. Now, spread the nets after he chummed the waters

 

[sestoppelman]

SMART-ASS ANSWER #5
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
"What are my choices?" the man asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMART-ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen Chickens at a Woolworths store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant, "Do these Chickens get any bigger?"
The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead."

SMART-ASS ANSWER #3
The policeman got out of his car and the teenager he stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the Cop said.
The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART-ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read " Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he realized it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.
Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car arrived. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the truck's cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?"
The truck driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of fuel!"

SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
A teacher at a West Australian High School reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
Bluey, the class smart-ass, raised his hand at the back of the room and asked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
"Well, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand."

:biggrin2:

Still laughing!! That last one though,.. Ouch baby, very ouch!!!

 

[PHOENIX PHIL]

I'm just thankful the teacher didn't say something about a kangaroo.... :scared: