My name is Medicine. I’m a 2005 Winchester Model 70 Safari Express in .416 Remington Magnum and I’m a $1450.00 certified damn elephant killing machine. Now I know what you’re thinking - two things actually: you’re thinking 1) you’re not actually a rifle; you’re a person and 2) you can’t be an elephant killing machine because the last of the New Haven guns are all pieces of crap. Perhaps you’re correct on one of the above – I suppose one out of two ain’t bad; however, if you think the last of the New Haven guns are not among the finest Winchesters ever produced then I can assure you that your belief is based on fallacious information. Oh, I know what you’ve read – the machines were outdated – we were sloppily put together – we all have tool marks – the current Portugal productions are the finest rifles Winchester has ever built due to the modern, state of the art, CNC machines – blah – blah – blah. I’ll let you in on a secret -two actually - the big name gun writer who wrote that article was paid $30,000.00 to write it and my current owner, call him Ishmael, has tasked me with writing this report, free of charge, due to certain political climates and to maintain himself, hopefully, some degree of anonymity.
How I became among the chattels of Ishmael is rather a curious lot; however, I know you are here for the report so I promise to only touch the high points. My previous owner was a cigarette smoking cowboy who, when leaked insider information about production ceasing circa 2005, went to Scheels of all places and bought every Winchester Model 70 they had. There were lots of us - 100's actually. So, there I was, locked in his safe, for 15 years. You see, that’s about how long it took for BACA to convince all of you we were crap and that’s why the cowboy decided to offload all of us – because we didn’t appreciate in value like he had projected – like we should have for you see the employees knew their jobs were ending and that’s why they got together and vowed to go out on top – to produce the finest damn Winchesters that had ever been produced and I am one of them.
After two stints on gunbroker I was finally bought for the starting bid and that’s when I was shipped 7/8’s across the country to Ishmael and although he had no African mounts on his walls, he would occasionally point me at his buffalo painting and once, he even held me on the couch while he watched Buzz Charton’s first elephant hunting DVD. It was at this point that I knew everything was going to be alright and it was not long after this that a Pelican case came in the mail from Midway USA and while being traced by a sharpie, I knew my chance to hunt elephant in Africa was imminent.
Ishmael booked @Mbalabala Safaris ’ non-trophy elephant special as advertised on this very forum and after vast training of four months including the loss of 20 pounds and the sweat from his back rusting the metal on my magazine floorplate, we set sail at 600 mph for the wilds of Africa via a Boeing 787 Dreamliner.
How I became among the chattels of Ishmael is rather a curious lot; however, I know you are here for the report so I promise to only touch the high points. My previous owner was a cigarette smoking cowboy who, when leaked insider information about production ceasing circa 2005, went to Scheels of all places and bought every Winchester Model 70 they had. There were lots of us - 100's actually. So, there I was, locked in his safe, for 15 years. You see, that’s about how long it took for BACA to convince all of you we were crap and that’s why the cowboy decided to offload all of us – because we didn’t appreciate in value like he had projected – like we should have for you see the employees knew their jobs were ending and that’s why they got together and vowed to go out on top – to produce the finest damn Winchesters that had ever been produced and I am one of them.
After two stints on gunbroker I was finally bought for the starting bid and that’s when I was shipped 7/8’s across the country to Ishmael and although he had no African mounts on his walls, he would occasionally point me at his buffalo painting and once, he even held me on the couch while he watched Buzz Charton’s first elephant hunting DVD. It was at this point that I knew everything was going to be alright and it was not long after this that a Pelican case came in the mail from Midway USA and while being traced by a sharpie, I knew my chance to hunt elephant in Africa was imminent.
Ishmael booked @Mbalabala Safaris ’ non-trophy elephant special as advertised on this very forum and after vast training of four months including the loss of 20 pounds and the sweat from his back rusting the metal on my magazine floorplate, we set sail at 600 mph for the wilds of Africa via a Boeing 787 Dreamliner.
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