In memoriam - Of A Fellow Forum Member @Major Khan Whom I Both Greatly Admired & Loathed

[Bob Nelson 35Whelen]

Ontario Hunter, I've absolutely zero idea about his life in India prior to 1972. All I know is that he had an ex-wife who he was extremely bitter against. As well as a son who he could never see again. That much, he himself told me. But he never went into the other details.

But many military officers have said the following about him: That he started to publicly boast about things like killing and torturing Pakistani people during the war to his family members upon returning from the war (which is certainly not implausible, because he regularly used to make such boasts to us as well). And it rubbed off on his wife, his father-in-law & his mother-in-law in a very wrong way.

You see, in a war .... We must do many ugly things. You're a fellow service man, so you will understand. But when the war is over, we must leave that ugly part of ourselves in the battlefield and return home (both in body & spirit). Civilians will never understand what the nature of war really is, but it is not for them to understand either. Because they weren't there. We don't boast about things like killing/executing/torturing people (even when all of it is not only perfectly justified but also completely necessary). We do those things during an ugly time and then we never talk about it. We keep quiet about it.

Do you know ? It's been 53 years since the war is over and to this date... I've never once gone into the darker details of my wartime service with another single person in my life. I've never once talked about taking human life. Not with my parents, not with my children and certainly not my grandchildren. Not even with fellow war veterans. I left it all in the battlefield. I'm very happy about that decision of mine.

But we must not judge the Major too harshly. I returned from the war with a few bruises, here & there. To a very supportive pair of parents and friends. I had it easy. But he did get disfigured and (regardless of the reason) estranged from his family. And I suppose that the entire ordeal deeply scarred him (and not just physically).

It's very strange. The Major and I both had another thing in common. We're both divorced (although unlike him, I was absolutely forced to divorce my ex wife because long story short she was regularly beating up our children whenever I was away & I simply couldn't trust her around them at all anymore). So if anything, I could have related even more to him. But instead, he once even tried to use my divorce as a way to try to defame me when I was campaigning as a political candidate.

He was so talented and charismatic, but he was also so vengeful and vindictive. Even on these forums, he frequently made passing remarks about his "Deeds during the war". He never did learn to let go. The war is long over and many more violent conflicts have occurred all over the globe ever since then. People like us are a couple of elderly has-beens who's wartime glory days are long past us (although I certainly don't consider there to be anything glorious about war).

But there's absolutely nothing wrong about that. Rather than stay glued to the past, the healthy thing to do is to focus on improving our future and living pleasantly. Of course, we will reminisce about our past (I frequently do look back upon my younger days with nostalgia). But only about the good things which left a positive impact on us.

@Hunter-Habib
My father spent 3 years fighting in the Korean war and rarely spoke about it. Later in life after he retired from the military he started telling me about his time in Korea snd a lot of it was not pretty, some of it was funny and a lot of sadness to go with it. He was wounded when a bullet from a Chinese PPsh burp gun went Thu his mouth from one side and out the other. He said thank God I had my bloody mouth open at the time or it would have been a lot worse. He spent time in a US mash healing and received the purple heart because they were with the US 72nd tanks at the time.
I was privileged to hear these stories as he had never told anyone before a Nd it gave me greater insight into my father.

When my parents moved interstate new people move in down the road from them and dad being dad started talking to the new neighbours and he came up for a cup of tea. It worked ot they were the same age and he was Korean. Even more remarkable was he had escaped nothing Korea after the war but was a North Korean combatant. It transpire that my father and this gentleman were in a few of the same battles on opposite sides and were probably shooting at each other at times.
They relived a few of the old battles and discussed the futility and stupidity of war and discussions about how they are usually either politically or religious motivated.
These former combat veterans were fortunate to both have lived thru the war and then become friends and harbour no grudges to each other. War does strange things to people. I was very fortunate to have a father like that and then get to know the new friend he made. Both expressed similar things that happened on both sides..
I enjoyed the good Majors stories on this forum and enjoy yours as well and it is a privilege to have known the Major and to still be able to read of your adventures.
Politics and Religion have a lot to answer for.
Bob

 

[Bullhunter]

R.i.P. Major Kahn

I had read (and written) about your great adventures. They are legancy.
"We" had great contact about mail and pm.
(If you/or them are "real"... "or not"... "fiction".... or "true"...).
"You" was great.

Best wishes.
F.