WIN a FREE Hunt, Taxidermy & Sightseeing Week in Romania with a Guest for 2019

[Dan1953]

Incredible offer, thanks in advance!

Lady who had a dull and lifeless husband, he was really passionless and she had had enough so they went to a marriage counselor. He never shows me any affection. The counselor wasn’t getting anywhere with him either so he tried something drastic. He grabbed the man’s wife and gave her a good long passionate kiss. He put her down and said to the guy “Sir, your wife needs that at least two times a week! He says: “ Oh, alright, I guess I can bring her in twice a week!”

 

[svinejakt]

 

[NRA Dave]

Here's a picture of my well trained lab for National dog Day. He is so obedient and steady.

 

[hnterfl]

View attachment 246462
I want the story behind this insanity. It will count for another entry!

The rest of the Story....
As the Tall Tale around here says..... If you can get the business end of a badger occupied with a shirt or jacket you can just scoop them up like a kitten….. Well you know I had to try, and having 3 of my kids along on an antelope hunt last week seemed like the perfect opportunity. Round one had us chasing a very large badger across the prairie and let me tell you what…. There is no way on earth you can pull a badger out of a hole by the tail. Round two found myself and 3 kids in hot pursuit of another much smaller badger. If you could see the looks on my kids faces. The oldest boy, filming and thinking dad is pretty cool, the youngest boy whooping it up having the time of his life and the daughter wondering what on earth was going on and not sure she wanted any part of it. As you can see we caught up, the youngest threw in the literal towel and while this badger did his best to disembowel the distraction, I scooped up one very pissed off, very strong little badger. About this time I’m thinking, “I’m sure glad we didn’t catch that big one” and “now what?” It took about all I had to keep ahold of him and after a few pictures even the kids were saying “now what?” I guess I didn’t read that part of the instruction manual. About that point in the conversation that little bag of hate twisted free, landed like a cat on all fours, facing us and……the look that stinking badger had on his face was pure evil, and I wondered for a minute if he was going to run away, or rip into one of my kids. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when you’re running away. “Come on kids, Catch Up.”

 

[Lem]

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
"Quack! Quack! Quack!"

 

[Bobpuckett]

 

[Beretta391]

Woman and her husband walk into dentist office. Woman says to dentist I need a tooth pulled and I’m in a hurry so no novicane or gas!! Dentist says to woman you’re a brave woman ma’am. Dentist says can I see the tooth that needs pulled. Woman tells her husband to come over and show the dentist which tooth of his is hurting!!

 

[Bobpuckett]

 

[Bobpuckett]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

 

[brandondd24]

Q: why do mermaids wear sea shells?
A: because they grew out of their b shells!

 

[SEAWOLF607]

Coffee

• SEAWOLF607
• Aug 27, 2018

 

[JPbowhunter]

Top stuff on offering up the hunt mate, someone is going to have a great time with you

All the best to all

 

[Holly Brewer]

 

[Red Leg]

OK - I was born in Thibodaux, Louisiana and grew up in Lake Charles. I can legitimately tell a Cajun joke.

Even after living in South Louisiana all of their lives, Boudreaux & Thibodeaux had never been duck hunting. They decided to give it a try one day, but spent the entire day having no luck at all. Not one duck. They were determined to stay as long as there was daylight to keep from going home empty-handed. Still no luck. They finally gave up and as they were driving home, discussed what they might have been doing wrong. They had all of the best equipment, good shotguns, the best duck calls money could buy, everything.

Thibodeaux finally tells Boudreaux he thinks he has the answer. "Boudreaux, I tink we wasn't throwing de dog high enough!"

or

Boudreaux was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Marie, will you give me one last request ?" "Of course, Boudreaux, anything," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die," he said, "I wants you to marry Thibodeaux." Marie remarks, "But I thought you hated Thibodeaux." With his last breath, Boudreaux said, "I do !"

or

Boudreaux, sitting at the bar with Thibodeaux and Hebert, tells them, "Last night while I was here drinking wid y'all, a burglar broke into my house." Thibodeaux asked, "Did he get anything ?" "Yeah", Boudreaux said, "a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a foot in de family jewels...………....Marie thought it was me coming home drunk !"

They are funnier with the accent.

 

[Hogpatrol]

 

[Hogpatrol]

Second Opinion!

The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a heada che for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.'

He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'

The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.'

Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'

Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'

The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'

Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years.'

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'

Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'

The salesman said, 'Let's see... size 36.

Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'

The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'



New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS

 

[Hogpatrol]

 

[Matt Perchick]

I invented a new word............Plagiarism!!

 

[Hogpatrol]

I invented a new word............Plagiarism!!

 

[sambarhunter]

Anyone for white tiger hunting ha ha ha.

I am feeling rather sure that most members have a 'tiger rifle'