WIN a FREE Hunt, Taxidermy & Sightseeing Week in Romania with a Guest for 2019

[Rob404]

 

[Trakehner]

A zebra saw himself in a pond and wondered if he was white with black stripes or black with white stripes.

So, he went to the wise giraffe and asked, “Oh ,wise giraffe, am I really white with black stripes or black with white stripes?’

The giraffe looked confused, pondered a while and said, “You need to ask the baboon’”

“Well, crap”, Thought the zebra....and asked the baboon the white stripe/black stripe question to no avail...soon, the zebra had asked 4 soft skinned and 3 dangerous game animals to no avail. Finally, a hippo told the zebra... “You are what you are.”

Now, this truly confused the zebra. He talked to all the animals he’d asked before and none of them could decifer the answer.

Until...

The zebra went into a bar, was asked, “why the long face?” (He hated that joke) and said his white/black stripe question and the answer...”you are what you are”. “Oh, that’s easy” said the bartender...you’re a white animal with black stripes”

“How do you figure that” asked the confused zebra?”

‘Well, if you were a black animal with white stripes, the hippo would have said, you am what you be!”

 

[Matt Perchick]

 

[hunting4sanity]

 

[IdaRam]

The rest of the Story....
As the Tall Tale around here says..... If you can get the business end of a badger occupied with a shirt or jacket you can just scoop them up like a kitten….. Well you know I had to try, and having 3 of my kids along on an antelope hunt last week seemed like the perfect opportunity. Round one had us chasing a very large badger across the prairie and let me tell you what…. There is no way on earth you can pull a badger out of a hole by the tail. Round two found myself and 3 kids in hot pursuit of another much smaller badger. If you could see the looks on my kids faces. The oldest boy, filming and thinking dad is pretty cool, the youngest boy whooping it up having the time of his life and the daughter wondering what on earth was going on and not sure she wanted any part of it. As you can see we caught up, the youngest threw in the literal towel and while this badger did his best to disembowel the distraction, I scooped up one very pissed off, very strong little badger. About this time I’m thinking, “I’m sure glad we didn’t catch that big one” and “now what?” It took about all I had to keep ahold of him and after a few pictures even the kids were saying “now what?” I guess I didn’t read that part of the instruction manual. About that point in the conversation that little bag of hate twisted free, landed like a cat on all fours, facing us and……the look that stinking badger had on his face was pure evil, and I wondered for a minute if he was going to run away, or rip into one of my kids. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when you’re running away. “Come on kids, Catch Up.”

How on earth you walk around with a pair of bowling balls between your legs is a mystery to me!

 

[Milo]

A moose walks into a bar...
Why the long face?

 

[curtism1234]

 

[Adam Stevens]

A real short joke.

Two women were sitting quietly.....

 

[Bill Clayton]

 

[wanndog]

 

[Neil Molendyk]

The whitetail doe comes stumbling out of the brush, hair all mussed up and looking exhausted, looks over to her herd sister and mutters "That's the last time I'll do that for five bucks"

 

[Andy the Aussie]

So.... many years ago my best mate and his young son (my Godson) went away for a week out in the far west here chasing deer and hogs. The little guy had been coming with us since he was around 5. As usual we had a ball and he managed to bag his first rabbit unaided....



.....after a great week we packed up and drove the 5hrs home.

Several months later his father and I went back out for a summer hunt (it is a god awful mongrel of a place in summer) and the little guy didn't join us. On the drive out his father informs me we also had an important mission, on the last trip out the little guy had left his stuffed bunny behind and was pretty cut up about it, at the same time he also didn't want me to know, his father had been tasked with retrieving Bunny (hopefully he was still there as others use the old quarters we stay in) and return him home surreptitiously. Upon arrival we get into the quarters and there, in pride of place on one of the beds all propped up was Bunny, the other hunts had taken good care of him. Phew...all was well. My mate stashed him away and knew the little guy would be happy and (of course) his Godfather would be totally clueless. I love him to death and would never have ever said a word about it to upset him anyway.

However......being me....a bastard of great proportions.... I still saw an opportunity.....so when I got back from a hunt before my mate I retrieved Bunny and posed him in the manner I imagine he had actually spent the past several months "childless"....



....once home I emailed the pic to my mate and his wife....I was called all manner of names....but worth it.

Of course that little guy is all grown up now, is just finishing his carpentry apprenticeship and hunts and fishes all over the place on his own now. He turns 21 in a year or so and I think it is about time that pic of Bunny sees the light again..!

 

[Artur S]

Greetings to Romania and Africa!

 

[swantrip]

Greetings from Australia.

Meet Whiskey the Deutsche Drahthaar, we are apparently Father and son!

He has a great nose for deer and training is progressing well.

People say owners look like their dogs, I reckon its the other way around!!

 

[MS Hitman]

 

[thriller]

 

[thriller]

 

[thriller]

 

[Sitting Bull_Chris]

Two best friends, Joe and Pete, are way out in the veldt on a hunting trip. Desperate to go to the toilet Joe goes over to a nearby bush and unzips his pants and begins to pee. Unknown to him a Black Mamba was sleeping under the bush. Woken from its slumber by the stream of urine it strikes Joe right on his willy. Screaming in shock and pain Joe comes running over to Pete and tells him what happened. Without any first aid supplies and not sure what to do, Pete lays Joe down and grabs his satellite phone to call the emergency services.
Pete tells the emergency service operator what happened and asks what he can do to save his best friend. The operator tells Pete that without any first aid supplies the only thing he can do to save his friends life, is to suck the poison out of the wound.
Writhing in pain and fearing for his life Joe asks Pete what the emergency service operator told him.
Pete turns to his friend and tells him sadly "It looks like your going to die"

 

[Peter Larsson]

Some Norwegians were hunting moose in Sweden and manage to shoot one.
When they started to pull the moose out to the nearest road they met a Swede who told them to
tie the rope in the nose instead of the back legs.
It will be more easy to pull the moose with the hairs instead of against.
That the Norwegians found was an good idea.It was much easier to pull it that way!
When they have pulled the moose for a while they stopp and one of the Norwegians said:
I think that damn Swede fooled us! This way we will get further and further away from the road!!!